Harmony

Harmony is when scars are clearly seen on a naked soul and body, revealed with a blind sense of trust and spotted with granted vulnerability.
Harmony is when you are wrapped in the arms of your keeper, covering your ever bleeding wounds by their own flesh, sacrificing their entire universe for your teeth to be revealed beneath red lips smiling and shining the world.

Harmony is red matching blue. Harmony is a moan, a hug and an asymmetric tattoo.
Harmony is a kiss with your taste mixed with smoke.
Harmony is a given promise before we ever spoke.
Harmony is when you replace language with mumbles and numbers.
Harmony is when gibberish is your daily alarms and your life counters.
Harmony is when synchronization is made with no effort.
When that happens, die defending it.

Routine

How many times have you thought about breaking the routine? How many times have you imagined yourself with power, fame and money? A lot?

Why are you stuck? Humble wage? Not motivated enough to change your own world? Losing interest? Bored? Broken?

There is a way that people tend to lock their thoughts in which is that they postpone breaking the routine because at present they cannot afford breaking it. As if they are afraid to lose their jobs so that they may lose their ability to pay their bills or send their kids to proper schools.

There is another way for breaking the routine that people avoid which I find very convenient to most of human race.
Is it breaking the routine that you’re really after?

Why don’t you quit being an asshole? Wouldn’t that be a major break to your daily routine?
Why don’t you stop getting your nose into matters that aren’t your concern?
Why don’t you avoid comments that are not necessary yet you keep saying them?
Why would you smile in someone’s face while hating his guts? Why don’t you become clear and who loves you for who you are is your wing to fly with and who hates you for who you are can go fuck himself?
Why do you have to be the person who isn’t really you to please people who aren’t really you and in most cases they don’t even matter to you?

Break the routine. Stop being an asshole.

Death Note

Hi,

By the time you read this I’ll probably be dead. Maybe I’ve chosen death because I couldn’t stand my life without you? Maybe I had no reasons to struggle surviving away from you? Do you really think I wanted to die? It is as simple as I didn’t want to live without you. I didn’t want to die and you know that.

It wasn’t easy for me to die. But you know what? Living without you was harder and that’s why I went to the easier path. I had to escape from reality that didn’t have you, that was so far away from you.

Maybe hell is my destiny but I’ve been introduced to it by living without you so it wouldn’t differ much, would it?

You’re the only one who kept all my secrets, revealed all my weaknesses and caressed all my faults. You’re the only one I got naked for, kissed with all my senses, loved with all what I got.

How could I survive without that? Don’t you know how weak am I when you aren’t covering my back? Don’t you know that I was forsaken since my childhood? I was reborn the day you embraced me. I was resurrected the night you accepted me for who I am.

You were my world. From you I was taken and away from you was my last breath.

I love you.

Not

Yes she’s sweet, indeed she’s hot
Seducing mankind like an alcoholic shot
A red healing potion in an alchemist pot
Beauty is her shell, what’s inside is not
Blinded by her uniqueness he was shot in a blind spot
Joy was the kickoff and agony ruled the plot
An action, an excuse and a permanent knot
He gave himself a chance and himself he forgot
Parallel lines don’t meet, not in a single dot

Beauty is her shell, what’s inside is not
Beauty is her shell, what’s inside is not

stay or change

a splendid adventure

curveballs.

The white and red stitched round blazing through diamond dust headed right for its leather home.

Curveballs start off at one height, one velocity, one direction. You see it, prepare for it, make adjustments to your position to make contact with it, and then it does what every good curveball does. It drops.

The thing about curveballs is you don’t know it’s a curveball till it’s, well, curved. Changed its direction, dropped a few inches, thrown you off your game. At that point there’s nothing you can do to change its direction or make it do what it seemed like it was doing before.

Once the curveball has revealed itself to be the curveball you were not expecting, you have a choice.
You can keep your position and go out swinging, maybe get lucky and tip it off.
Or, you can change positions, drop your chin, and go in…

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Doom Over Dead Man

The autumn clouds are caving in
And night comes crawling, black as sin
Lightning strikes, and rain begins
A storm that tears my soul

I toss and tumble in my bed
My thoughts are spinning in my head
Darkness nears, soon I’ll be dead
I’m losing all control

I’ve spent my life in foolish quests
for gold and riches, I confess
And now I’m left with just regrets
Too late to change my ways

My life, it seems, has slipped away
I leave no legacy to praise
Nothing more for me to say
My life has been a waste

When!
My time has come for me to leave
When!
When judgment’s passed upon my life
When!
A cold dark grave will wait for me
Will!
Will my name live endlessly?
When!
My time has come for me to leave
When!
When judgment’s passed upon my life
When!
A cold dark grave will wait for me
Will!
Will my name live endlessly?

So I die
But won’t be mourned
Broken and alone
I wish that I were never born

So I die and won’t be missed
No rune stone will be raised
As my body rots away

Die!
All friends and cattle pass away
Die!
And death will come for every man
Die!
But I know one thing never dies
Doom!
The sentence passed upon the dead
Now!
The time has come for me to leave
Now!
When judgement’s passed up on my life
Now!
Now I will rest in my dark grave
Will!
They speak my name with reverence?

My life has been a waste
No rune stone will be raised
So I die, but won’t be mourned
I wish that I were never born
I rest here in my shallow grave
As my body rots away

Candle Tears

In a hot summer night, in a cold living room with an air conditioner set to 16 degrees Celsius, on the main dining table in the middle of the room with 9 filled seats surrounding my presence, I was fixed in the middle, wearing my oval glass jar and my teal wax, I was lit.

On the table, there were not many plates and there wasn’t a serving for every person. The tablecloth was white and the guests began their evening with a welcome glass of water from the host.

My tranquil aqua fragrance was all over the place. Breaching the lungs of the guests, exploring their hearts and seeing their smiles, I glowed.

With the very initial sip of water each guest took from their water glasses, they took off all their clothes, their makeup and their masks. They were all smiling and cheering while eating and drinking, but none of them was really smiling from the inside.

I caught their eyes with no fake look as they didn’t have to fake a feeling towards me. I saw the fake emotions instantly when they had their eyes off me and towards any other guest. None of the guests saw broken hearts, forsaken dreams, overnight tears, bleeding scars or exposed wounds. I saw them all. With soothing glowing fire and cyan blue tears, I squeezed my perfume to the guests. I cried.

What I saw could fill oceans, what I witnessed was enough to flood a continent. It was all hidden beneath their outfits, their undies and their shoes. Covered with their smiles and their cheerful talk, I felt pain. I felt agony, I felt trouble, I felt misery. In my glass container, I saw all their pain and cried.

They got closer to me for my scent, for my soothing light and for my warmness. Nobody got to see what I saw, what they don’t see in their mirrors but they see in their beds before they fall asleep. With my cyan blue tears and tranquil waters perfume; I cried.

 

My SMART 30’s Goals

In order to get things done you need to have them written and stated clearly so that you don’t creep out of your path. I’m writing my Specific Measurable Achievable Realistic Time bounded goals that I’ll have before I turn 30. I’ll do them all by myself and I won’t expect any help from anyone on Earth.

1- I’ll be in a different position. I’ll get a decent promotion and I’ll not be an optimization project manager. I’ll be something better.

2- I’ll be PMP / ITIL Expert certified.

3- I’ll be fluent in a new language.

4- I’ll attend an Opeth live performance.

5- I’ll make my mom’s baby project a huge success.

6- I’ll visit either Brazil or Japan.

7- I’ll have a YouTube channel and I’ll produce something with a very high quality.

8- I’ll have a tattoo.

9- I’ll find my ever after life companion. Yes, this is the ninth point and my last.

Phase Shift

A transient phase between dreaming and consciousness makes itself unstoppable when tiredness, exhaustion and contravention are all combined together. Sitting all alone in the office three hours after midnight, waiting for my conference to start after one hour, I partially lost my realization and had an unreal vision and an untrue voice. I even responded to it and that was when I got back to the world, this is the exact moment I’m writing this down.

A crying voice was calling for me; screaming and frightened; running from something that I couldn’t see; towards me and away from me, she was wandering.

I felt a bolt hitting my entire body that made me all numb. I struggled and moved towards her. The closer I got, the more she screamed. I couldn’t understand whether she wanted me to get closer or stay further. I stopped for a second to determine my next move direction. That moment was the moment I started bleeding and felt a burning shock hitting my marrow.

I couldn’t stand still and I fell on my knees. Her screams were louder and her tears flooded the place. Bent neck as if there was a heavy load all over my back and wet boiling tears covering my body from the bottom all the way up to my kidneys, squeezing and ripping my love handles.

I gathered all my energies and had one foot on the ground. I tried to stand but the load on my back got trillion times heavier. I could make it on my feet after legendary struggle.

I walked like a drunk, spilling blood from every inch of my body; moving towards her. I gave her my bloody hand to hold but she wasn’t close enough. That moment I felt a second burning shock targeting my lungs. I was falling silently. Instantly she blinked like a wizard and held my hand.

The moment she touched me I stopped bleeding, I felt no pain and I was healed in no time. However, I couldn’t physically stand nor move my body. I was laying on the ground with my eyes closed, boiling body like skin made of volcanic lava. I kept repeating one word. It was “I’m here for you, I’m here for you, I’m here for you”.

I felt myself saying it and then I opened my eyes. I realized that I’m in the office and that I have a call to attend in less than 20 minutes. What makes this all real is that I feel pain all over me and I can’t move my legs at this moment, just like I couldn’t move them before I get back to my actualization.

Here I say it once again with my full consciousness; I’m here for you.

Recipe

Life is worthy living with a maximum potential and a full dedicated because the time is so little and so limited to be wasted on drama, tears and regrets.

Life as I used to have is what I truly miss. A life for two with four feet synchronized. A life with two beats of two human hearts placed in two bodies and linked with an immortal bond. Life that has loneliness in it, no fear as there are always two arms opened to catch me when I’m down, heal me when I’m wounded and strengthen me when I’m weak.

My life recipe is being with a companion. A companion that gives you the world and takes all pain, take full control of your desires and dominate your subliminal core. A companion who is made to have you in place with no effort, no pain for synchronization and no torque to make things happen.

That person will always be perfect without any enhancement. You will know it when you find yourself setting your standards upon their existence. You won’t need to have anything changed or corrected. You will be diving in a bottomless ocean of Happiness just by being around them, by having them caressing you, talk in to you, giving you their attention, caring about your well being, willing to do whatever it takes to satisfy your every wild desire. It will be crystal clear and it won’t need an “I love you” to secure it.

Whenever you have this trigger you will need to follow the recipe of immortality. The way in which you will secure their hearts and make them yours.

The recipe is a sandwich. A very basic one without much ingredients in it. Simplicity is alwa a keeper when you are aiming for an everlasting result. My sandwich is very basic and I believe in it.

The bottom layer of the sandwich is being human. Being human with your companion is the bread of your life. They have not to fear you. There has to be nothing they cannot tell you. There has to be no shyness, dignity, linguistic barrier, social barrier, or any insulator between your souls nor your bodies. Being human by acknowledging that humans aren’t angels nor demons, by introducing the room for mistakes and embracing them to support the roots of the seed of love.

The sandwich filling is being funny. Make your companion laugh, giggle and even snort from laughter. Do whatever it takes to make them laugh from their heart as you will only be seen the prettiest when you accompany their days and nights with endless joy. Laughter is a primary charm element and without it things won’t be as peaceful as It should. Joy is the only filler with no ketchup nor mayonnaise.

The top layer is being human, accept your package without having it changed and don’t tolerate minor changes unless it comes by itself. Don’t ask for a change, or to be precis; never ask for a change. Your companion is your companion for who they are and any change would get them lost in the wild.

Be human, joy and laughter, be human.